Reignite the Flame in Your Relationship with this Failproof 5-Step Guide

Valentine’s day is around the corner and the ultimate gift for you and your lover is the rekindling of your sex-life. Studies show couples who have a healthy sex-life are signifigantly more satisfied with their relationship and less likely to seperate. One reason sex is so beneficial is that orgasms cause a massive release of the love hormone oxytocin — which is a key formulator of love, trust, and connectivity. Oxytocin also helps promote positive relationship behaviors such as listening, laughing, and affirming. 

If you want to enhance your libido and performance and gift your partner with explosive pleasure and a deeper connection this Valentines day, than this 5-step guide is for you:

#1: Boost Nitric Oxide

Nitric oxide is a very important molecule that transmits signals throughout the body. Increasing nitric oxide causes the blood vessels to expand, which enhances blood flow to the sexual organs. In so doing, it increases sexual pleasure, improves your ability to orgasm, and helps to fight erectile dysfunction. 


You can boost nitric oxide by consuming a low-fat diet, exercising for a minimum of 30 minutes every day, and exposing your skin to sunlight for 15 minutes daily. For a more pronounced effect, take a nitric oxide boosting supplement such as Beet Vitality or Stay Young Am.

#2: Clean-up Your Diet

What you eat has an effect on hormones and chemicals that are responsible for libido, arousal and pleasure. And processed, packaged, and fast foods makes you feel bloated, sluggish, and anything but sexy. They also clog your arteries, which reduces the ability of blood to flow to your sex organs. This results in decreased pleasure sensations, it can reduce your ability to orgasm, and can cause erectile dysfunction in men. 


Focus on consuming a wholefoods based diet, with at least 12 servings of vegetables daily. This type of diet will ensure you have all the nutrients and antioxidants necessary for optimum sexual functioning. Some particularly beneficial foods for enhancing your sex-life include: deep leafy greens, hot peppers, garlic, apples, avocadoes, bananas, watermelon, beets, oysters, beans, quinoa, nuts and seeds.

#3: Manage Stress

Stress negatively impacts your sex life in 3 major ways. Firstly, it prevents the blood vessels from fully dilating which reduces blood flow to the pleasure organs. Chronic stress also reduces the production of important sex hormones because the body becomes too preoccupied with producing the stress hormone cortisol (which is a libido killing hormone). Last but certainly not least, it effects your brain which is your biggest sex organ. Stress can make you feel anxious, fatigued and depressed – 3 feelings that are anything but sexy; and if you do have sex it can cause you to be distracted, which will reduce your ability to receive pleasure. 


Some great ways to reduce stress include: regular exercise, meditation, deep breathing, a regular sleep schedule, time spent in nature, journaling, talk therapy, listening to music, laughing, and avoiding stimulants such as caffeine and sugar.

#4: Be Free and Love Your Body

There is an unfortunate amount of shame surrounding sexuality, and shame can seriously hinder your sex life. It can also prevent you from initiating sex, experimenting in the bedroom, and from letting go and getting out of your head during the act. If you have body image issues, worrying about your appearance and/or trying to hide your body during sex stops you from being in the moment and the negative thinking can make the whole experiencing undesirable. 


Become more comfortable with your own body by sleeping and walking around your house naked, by dancing uninhibited (even if you only have the courage to do so privately), by writing down 5 things you love about your body, and by pleasuring yourself freely. After completing the above, go to a sex store and buy some toys, try role playing and/or dressing up, share your sexual fantasies with your partner, experiment with different sex positions, explore each other’s entire body’s, and use lubrication when necessary. If you have body image issues, positive affirmations, avoiding comparing yourself to others, consuming social media with a critical eye, and my LFC audio track – Love Your Body can help with this. For deeper issues, you may need to see a therapist or work with a life coach. 

#5: Boost Testosterone

Testosterone is responsible for the maintenance of a healthy sex life and can notably enhance libido, arousal, and pleasure in both men and women. In men, it also supports healthy sperm production, reduces impotence risk and helps prevent and reverse many cases of Erectile dysfunction, or ED. 


You can boost testosterone levels naturally by exercising regularly and including strength training as well as high intensity exercises in your regime. Your diet plays a major role as well, and you should eliminate caffeine, sugar and processed foods. Try to eat a whole-foods based diet and emphasize zinc-rich foods such as black beans, chickpeas, pumpkin seeds, spinach, mushrooms, cashews and cocoa. And finally take an herbal testosterone boosting supplement. I recommend Testro-vida Pro as it is a safe, and powerfully effective supplement that contains zinc, Maca, Catuaba, and Tribulus, and nearly 20 other herbs that help boost vitality and sexual function.


One final thing worth noting is that a deep connection is a major contributor to a satisfying sex life. So spend more quality time with your partner, go on dates, send sexy texts, hold hands, hug, kiss, and cuddle as much as possible! And if you really want to get each other in the mood this Valentines day, start the evening off with a lengthy, full body massage.

The above guidelines for improving pleasure and intimacy are explored and explained in much greater depth in my newly released, highly acclaimed book “Mastering Love, Sex, and Intimacy.” The book is written for both men and women and it will show you how to become an amazing lover, overcome sexual dysfunction, maximize libido, fertility, and connectedness; and create an exciting, multi-orgasmic sex-life. 

You can purchase a hard copy here. You can also purchase the ebook here; or the audiobook read by myself and co-host Tamara at